DEAR ABBY

Woman Won't Give Approval To Friend's Destructive Affairs

DEAR ABBY:
My best friend "Diane" and I have known each other since we were children. She has always had difficulty in her relationships with men. In the last three years, she has begun dating married men. She was sure the latest one was the man of her dreams, but it was short-lived and destroyed his marriage. Diane rationalizes what she's doing by saying the men will cheat anyway, so why not with her?

Diane is now in love with someone new. If he leaves his wife and children for her, this will be another home Diane has helped break up. She wants my blessings and for me to get along with her boyfriend. Being a married woman and a mother, I sympathize with the wives of these men.
Why has my best friend become a home wrecker? What can I do to avoid being pulled into this affair without losing her friendship? -- MORALLY COMPROMISED IN MICHIGAN
DEAR MORALLY COMPROMISED: There is no one-size-fits-all answer about why a woman dates married men. Some women do it because they fall in love; others because they don't care whom they hurt to get what they want; while still others see it as a competition they "have" to win -- again and again.
You do not have to allow yourself to be drawn into this. Avoid it by making clear to Diane that as much as you care about her, you don't approve, and want no contact with the new man in her life.